As a people we do whacky self-destructive things to one another, as if we hate one another; and often constantly berate and belittle each other. Now is the time to stop these destructive habits and create a new, more accepting, and more loving culture for ourselves.
Love Black is our way of asking you to make a conscious decision to love, trust, do business with each other, and rejoice in the opportunities and successes that we create for ourselves. RETHINK EVERYTHING !
A parenting agreement is a written contract between two adults that constructs the ground rules for how a child will be raised and details the specific parenting responsibilities of each parent. Does it make sense to enter into
the life long responsibility of parenting without one? Your child deserves to know that each parent and has committed to their support, positive development, and empowerment.
So why create a child with someone who can’t or won’t negotiate and enter into such an agreement… unless your conscious decision is to joyously single parent…in which case you need an agreement to keep the other parent from insisting on trying to parent. Of course a parenting agreement is not a guarantee of responsible parenting, yet denying such an agreement probably assures an irresponsible result.
Why would you willingly enter into a lifetime of financial and emotional sacrifices necessary to successfully parent without a written agreement? Plan for the life of your child, be proactive and be the parents that your child deserves.
One last thing, if you are not consciously trying to get pregnant with a partner who you are certain will responsibly parent…then ALWAYS use TWO reliable forms of birth control, or don’t have relations with
them at all. RETHINK EVERYTHING !
Time tithing simply means that you consistently volunteer some of the time which you have control over (hours spent not working or sleeping) to community service. A Time Tither is a person of transformation. Instead of telling others what they need to do or what they aren’t doing right, they stand up and make things happen. A Time Tither does not volunteer for a day or two and consider the problem solved; you willingly contribute one tenth of your available time to being “the change you most wish to see.” No one can nor will heal our community for us and healing is exactly what we need. RETHINK EVERYTHING !
Negative Mental Legacies of Slavery
African Americans were slaves in this country for two hundred and fifty years. Because we have failed to really face the horror of slavery so that we can heal from it, we remain disempowered by our past. We whisper about slavery, instead of bringing it into the light, looking at it, examining it, critiquing our experience and learning from our pain and travail. By trying to avoid the suffering and misery of looking at the past and by attempting to shelter our children from the evil memories of slavery, we have unknowingly accepted a continuation of the once required, yet still very negative, behaviors of slave culture.
These behaviors, whether diet, work ethic, endearing ourselves to powerful white people at the expense of ourselves, failure to save and invest, conspicuous consumption, beating our children, even racial self-hatred, were necessary to survive slavery so that you could know today. Yet today they are simply the negative mental legacies of slavery and the brutal decades that followed. Today they are our worst enemies. Today we continue this self-destructive behavior/culture. Today we can choose to recreate our culture.
We also fail to recognize that our own ancestors paid for us by holding on so that we could know today…believing that when we could re-empower ourselves, that we would. RETHINK EVERYTHING !
Empowerment is positive character, virtue, values, and life-skills. It’s a holistic enterprise. The empowered adult has not only addressed issues of the body, mind, and spirit but also financial, social, and civic woes. The empowered adult thinks not only about themselves and their family but also invests time and conscious action into the empowerment of those around them. Empowerment must become our agenda, focus, direction, goal, and identity.
Love is being firmly committed to helping someone else to reach their potential as an empowered adult. RETHINK EVERYTHING !
A Meaningful Longitudinal Relationship with an Empowered Adult
Most people attain empowerment through a meaningful longitudinal relationship with an empowered adult: this is a long term, significant relationship of mutual trust and understanding. Empowerment (high character, virtue, values, and life-skills) must be gifted by someone who is already empowered. Seek out the resources necessary to develop your own potential by hooking up with someone in your life who is empowered. Seek to transmit empowerment to another by gifting someone with love.
Assure the empowerment of your child by surrounding them with as many positive and empowered people as possible.
Nothing is more important. It may be a grandparent(s), a long-term music teacher, a long-term karate teacher, a Big Brother or Big Sister, an empowered neighbor, a trusted long-term friend, a chess coach, a scout leader who serves the same children for many years, or someone you pay to provide this service.
Conversely, recognize that if you child spends Large blocks time with peers and without a responsible supervising adult, then your child will become like those very peers. So know, require approval of, and supervise your child’s peer activities. RETHINK EVERYTHING !
The Power of One, The Impact of a Few
Never underestimate the power of one person to change everything. You may think that you do not have what it takes and that it will take something greater than yourself to make a difference. This is simply not true. All it takes is one motivated individual to begin to change the entire world.
And when a few such people join together—aggressively pursuing with passion the same vision and strategy—they prove Margaret Mead’s famous quote, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” RETHINK EVERYTHING !
Written Relationship Agreements
How much you value yourself is reflected in how you allow others to treat you. Renegotiate how you relate to and interact with those around you. Set ground rules, limits, and don’t be afraid to say no. In any relationship it is important to have mutual trust and understanding. A written agreement that details how parties are to be treated is the conscious and explicit way to establish a solid foundation for any relationship. RETHINK EVERYTHING !
Every three hours a child dies from a gunshot; that is eight every day, 55 every week. Every week! Six times as many children suffer gun injuries, but not death. That’s one child or teen every 31 minutes, 47 every day, and 331 children every week. Every week!
Black youth are ten times more likely to be shot. Are we acting like this is completely and totally unacceptable, or are we acting like it simply is and we are powerless to do anything about it. When our culture finally says that we will send our own to jail for crime, then crime will dramatically fall. Until then we are crime’s silent partner. RETHINK EVERYTHING !
Love Each Child
Love each child like they are life itself. Be sure to nurture them, protect them, and surround them with loving support. Establish a strong and nurturing relationship and work to maintain it as if their very life depends on it. Be ready to die rather than allow the negative forces in the world to consume them.
It is ok to set standards and limitations that other parents do not. Your child will complain, yet they will love you for it, and know that they are loved by you! And one day, they will sing your praises when you are not around. RETHINK EVERYTHING !
The Fierce Urgency of Now
We can no longer wait for white folks to apologize. We can no longer wait for reparations to come our way or for transformation to fall from the heavens. We can no longer hope that the society that we have inherited will see the error of their ways and come riding in on a “white horse” to save us. We must seize the day!
We must realize that the negative mental legacies of slavery can be exposed and then abandoned. We must do all that we can do to transform our community/culture. When we create a healing community of love, we will thrive beyond our wildest dreams. Then and only then will others relate differently with us, for it will be in their best interest to do so. RETHINK EVERYTHING !